posted: 01/01/01
One Simple Solution
I just realized that
I have so many columns already written up in Microsoft Works,
that I should never take so long between columns. Of course, it's
only been about five days, but it seems like an eternity to me.
So unless any unforseen unfortunate firings or turn of events,
you guys have to put up with me for at least another month. Once
I run out of content, I'll stop. But if I want to catch Xavier
and his one-year-posting mark, I have to brainstorm a lot. Now
wasn't that a lot of useless babble??
On a note from my last column; complaining and basic bitching
about the WWF product seems to create a spark in e-mailing the
columnist author. Now I know why some other guys do it so much. I
won't go off ranting like that a lot, but the e-mail's are still
nice to get. In case you haven't noticed by now, I like to take
up the first two paragraphs of each column and address different
issues instead of the topic at hand. Hey, I got a style.
But now I actually have to get on subject...
Quick question everybody. What is Vince Russo most famous for
during his tenure in World Championship Wrestling?? If you said
it was: elevating The Filthy Animals, letting the Cruisers show
their stuff, or giving Booker T the World Title, then you’d
be more worse off than Superstar Scott Newman on a blinddate with
Sparky Van Dam. Though it is my purely my own opinion, many
people will point to his public firing of Hulk Hogan at Bash At
The Beach.
What made it so great was that no one was really sure if it was a
work or shoot. Work is planned, shoot is un-planned, by the way.
We’re still not sure what really happened that night back in
1999, and that’s exactly what The Federation needs right
now: that aura of uncertainity.
The Invasion has been a flop, big time. So with the suggestion of
the greatest Forum Cruiserweight ever, and the mack-daddy of
Keibler-pimpin’, El Dandy, we’re going to divulge into
just one of the many ways this Invasion can truly be an Invasion.
Back when Nash and Hall formed the nWo and ran-sacked WCW, fans
were completely baffled as to the on-goings. The internet was not
as popular as it is now, and Bischoff took full advantage of our
wrestling innocence. He led us to believe that the nWo really
were taking over WCW. Of course, we saw through that later on,
when it became very apparent that the nWo was just a faction, but
that is what McMahon needs to capture. That pure essence of
“what the hell??”
Every fan out there knows that The Alliance is not a seperate
orginization, no matter how much The WWF claims on television.
With the McMahon children at the helm, it’s quite apparent
that WCW and ECW are just another branch of WWFE. It’s time
to play some imagination games, kiddies.
Now, just for this paragraph, pretend that ECW and WCW were
always under the WWFE blanket. What made them seem different??
Was it the competition between them and The Federation?? No,
because that’s still apparent in the Invasion. Was it the
fact that they were on different networks?? Possibly, but in
essence, The Alliance and The WWF are on different networks (TNN,
UPN, and MTV), but just with each other. Was it because they had
different owners?? Bingo.
Extreme Championship Wrestling was led by Paul E. Heymen, now an
announcer on RAW and a fill-in announcer on Smackdown! World
Championship Wrestling was headed by Eric Bischoff, who’s
employed by the near-defunct NGO, or Matrats. Now both companies
are combined and led by a McMahon. Which is more believeable to
be a seperate entity??
So where exactly is the difficult part in this equation in making
this Invasion believeable?? There is none, except for Vince
McMahon’s ego. If Vinnie-Mac forced his children out of the
limelight of The Alliance, and split them back into ECW and WCW,
it makes this Invasion realistic. He also has the former ECW
owner under contract, so why exactly can’t Heymen lead his
troops once again?? On that RAW when ECW first introduced
themselves to the WWF fans, all led by Paul Heymen, who else (in
a markish mindset) bought it?? I would’ve. I would believe
that Heymen was royally pissed at Vince McMahon for ending his
orginization, and at WCW for stealing his stars. Would it work??
Yes. Can it still?? It’s not to late.
Eric Bischoff is stuck in a struggling promotion right now, which
is near its end, so what can stop McMahon from offering him a
job?? Sure, McMahon has his ego to maintain, but I’m pretty
sure he’ll take his wallet over self-respect anyday. This is
the same man that urinated himself on an episode of RAW,
remember. It couldn’t hurt to see if Bischoff would like a
job running WCW, and if Bischoff says no, so what?? 80% of the
audience won’t know about it anyways, and the rest is the
net audience, and Vince has already made it apparent he
doesn’t appreciate our point of view or opinion anyways.
Giving the promotions back to their original owners would go a
long way in making this Invasion believable. The same man that
cheered on Tommy Dreamer, Rhino, and RVD in ECW, leading them
once again. The same man that brought us the nWo coming back to
his roots: his old McMahon-hating ways. It makes sense. Too much
sense. It would work too.
For just one paragraph, I’ll invite you into a world of
fantasy booking. If you hate that, I strongly encourage you to
skip this. Suppose on the first RAW of the new year, after Nash
is no longer under Time Warner contract, he and Hall come out in
their Outsiderz attire and cut a promo on McMahon, telling him
that he ruined a once great WCW. So McMahon is furious, and comes
out to stop these “invaders.” As McMahon is standing at
the top of the ramp, who should come out from behind him?? Eric
Bischoff. Bischoff can use the same argument as The Outsiderz,
and pack up his WCW guys and just leave. They’ll just leave
the WWF building at the beginning of RAW, and won’t come
back for a week or two. McMahon is left to scramble to make his
wrestling show work, so he in turn books ECW guys against WWF
men. Heymen stands up from his announcing position, says
that’s a load of crap. That Shane and Vince have tarnished
his companies name bad enough, and he leaves with his troops. So
now the McMahons have to book WWF on WWF matches for awhile,
while J.R., Cole, and some other announcer wounder what the hell
is going on.
Tell me you wouldn’t buy that. Well, not you. Tell me a
normal mark in the crowd would not sit there for a second and
think “what the hell just happened??” Have the McMahons
lose control of ECW and WCW, all of the McMahons. Linda
can’t come back one episode and say she sided with Bischoff
and gave him permission to be there. None of that. Have ECW and
WCW actually invade the WWF. Start them off with taking over
Excess on one show, or maybe HeAt. After a few weeks of that,
have Heymen and Bischoff cut promos on McMahon on RAW and
Smackdown!, but on video tape. They can’t show up at the
arena, because they’re actual invaders. A real invader would
not be allowed into the building. Remember back to DX's invasion
of a WCW building and you'll recall that.
It’s that simple. It’s actual shock; not WWF “oh
no, Austin turned heel” shock. It’s “you
can’t do that,” shock. ECW and WCW can still be teamed
up, but have them refered to as WCW or ECW, not The Alliance.
That sounds like a faction. nWo, J.O.B. Squad, Ministry, and
Alliance. Which doesn’t sound like a faction?? nWo, of
course. Which was the most over and memorable faction?? nWo.
McMahon’s ego needs to go into hiding if he wants his
checkbook to prosper.
If you hate columnists complaining and re-booking the invasion,
I'm deeply sorry. Notice how I wrote the apology here, after you
guys had to have read the column?? That's called marketing.
I'll be back to post a column on Tuesday or Wednesday night. I'm
being transfered back to Canada on Thursday, and my grandmother's
place has limited internet access, so I don't want to go on a
no-column-posting spree. I'm hoping I can get everything
straightend out by Saturday night, so I won't have to juggle any
of my posting duties at The Oratory.
The real reason Steph got implants - Did anyone else get a look
at Linda's chest on Smackdown!??
So that's it for the Raine. Send any comments, compliments,
complaints, and sexual fantasies to s_other@hotmail.com. I
promise I will reply.
See ya
Raine Daniels/s_other
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