One Simple Solution
I just realized that
I have so many columns already written up in Microsoft Works,
that I should never take so long between columns. Of course, it's
only been about five days, but it seems like an eternity to me.
So unless any unforseen unfortunate firings or turn of events,
you guys have to put up with me for at least another month. Once
I run out of content, I'll stop. But if I want to catch Xavier
and his one-year-posting mark, I have to brainstorm a lot. Now
wasn't that a lot of useless babble??
On a note from my last column; complaining and basic bitching about the WWF product seems to create a spark in e-mailing the columnist author. Now I know why some other guys do it so much. I won't go off ranting like that a lot, but the e-mail's are still nice to get. In case you haven't noticed by now, I like to take up the first two paragraphs of each column and address different issues instead of the topic at hand. Hey, I got a style.
But now I actually have to get on subject...
Quick question everybody. What is Vince Russo most famous for during his tenure in World Championship Wrestling?? If you said it was: elevating The Filthy Animals, letting the Cruisers show their stuff, or giving Booker T the World Title, then youd be more worse off than Superstar Scott Newman on a blinddate with Sparky Van Dam. Though it is my purely my own opinion, many people will point to his public firing of Hulk Hogan at Bash At The Beach.
What made it so great was that no one was really sure if it was a work or shoot. Work is planned, shoot is un-planned, by the way. Were still not sure what really happened that night back in 1999, and thats exactly what The Federation needs right now: that aura of uncertainity.
The Invasion has been a flop, big time. So with the suggestion of the greatest Forum Cruiserweight ever, and the mack-daddy of Keibler-pimpin, El Dandy, were going to divulge into just one of the many ways this Invasion can truly be an Invasion.
Back when Nash and Hall formed the nWo and ran-sacked WCW, fans were completely baffled as to the on-goings. The internet was not as popular as it is now, and Bischoff took full advantage of our wrestling innocence. He led us to believe that the nWo really were taking over WCW. Of course, we saw through that later on, when it became very apparent that the nWo was just a faction, but that is what McMahon needs to capture. That pure essence of what the hell??
Every fan out there knows that The Alliance is not a seperate orginization, no matter how much The WWF claims on television. With the McMahon children at the helm, its quite apparent that WCW and ECW are just another branch of WWFE. Its time to play some imagination games, kiddies.
Now, just for this paragraph, pretend that ECW and WCW were always under the WWFE blanket. What made them seem different?? Was it the competition between them and The Federation?? No, because thats still apparent in the Invasion. Was it the fact that they were on different networks?? Possibly, but in essence, The Alliance and The WWF are on different networks (TNN, UPN, and MTV), but just with each other. Was it because they had different owners?? Bingo.
Extreme Championship Wrestling was led by Paul E. Heymen, now an announcer on RAW and a fill-in announcer on Smackdown! World Championship Wrestling was headed by Eric Bischoff, whos employed by the near-defunct NGO, or Matrats. Now both companies are combined and led by a McMahon. Which is more believeable to be a seperate entity??
So where exactly is the difficult part in this equation in making this Invasion believeable?? There is none, except for Vince McMahons ego. If Vinnie-Mac forced his children out of the limelight of The Alliance, and split them back into ECW and WCW, it makes this Invasion realistic. He also has the former ECW owner under contract, so why exactly cant Heymen lead his troops once again?? On that RAW when ECW first introduced themselves to the WWF fans, all led by Paul Heymen, who else (in a markish mindset) bought it?? I wouldve. I would believe that Heymen was royally pissed at Vince McMahon for ending his orginization, and at WCW for stealing his stars. Would it work?? Yes. Can it still?? Its not to late.
Eric Bischoff is stuck in a struggling promotion right now, which is near its end, so what can stop McMahon from offering him a job?? Sure, McMahon has his ego to maintain, but Im pretty sure hell take his wallet over self-respect anyday. This is the same man that urinated himself on an episode of RAW, remember. It couldnt hurt to see if Bischoff would like a job running WCW, and if Bischoff says no, so what?? 80% of the audience wont know about it anyways, and the rest is the net audience, and Vince has already made it apparent he doesnt appreciate our point of view or opinion anyways.
Giving the promotions back to their original owners would go a long way in making this Invasion believable. The same man that cheered on Tommy Dreamer, Rhino, and RVD in ECW, leading them once again. The same man that brought us the nWo coming back to his roots: his old McMahon-hating ways. It makes sense. Too much sense. It would work too.
For just one paragraph, Ill invite you into a world of fantasy booking. If you hate that, I strongly encourage you to skip this. Suppose on the first RAW of the new year, after Nash is no longer under Time Warner contract, he and Hall come out in their Outsiderz attire and cut a promo on McMahon, telling him that he ruined a once great WCW. So McMahon is furious, and comes out to stop these invaders. As McMahon is standing at the top of the ramp, who should come out from behind him?? Eric Bischoff. Bischoff can use the same argument as The Outsiderz, and pack up his WCW guys and just leave. Theyll just leave the WWF building at the beginning of RAW, and wont come back for a week or two. McMahon is left to scramble to make his wrestling show work, so he in turn books ECW guys against WWF men. Heymen stands up from his announcing position, says thats a load of crap. That Shane and Vince have tarnished his companies name bad enough, and he leaves with his troops. So now the McMahons have to book WWF on WWF matches for awhile, while J.R., Cole, and some other announcer wounder what the hell is going on.
Tell me you wouldnt buy that. Well, not you. Tell me a normal mark in the crowd would not sit there for a second and think what the hell just happened?? Have the McMahons lose control of ECW and WCW, all of the McMahons. Linda cant come back one episode and say she sided with Bischoff and gave him permission to be there. None of that. Have ECW and WCW actually invade the WWF. Start them off with taking over Excess on one show, or maybe HeAt. After a few weeks of that, have Heymen and Bischoff cut promos on McMahon on RAW and Smackdown!, but on video tape. They cant show up at the arena, because theyre actual invaders. A real invader would not be allowed into the building. Remember back to DX's invasion of a WCW building and you'll recall that.
Its that simple. Its actual shock; not WWF oh no, Austin turned heel shock. Its you cant do that, shock. ECW and WCW can still be teamed up, but have them refered to as WCW or ECW, not The Alliance. That sounds like a faction. nWo, J.O.B. Squad, Ministry, and Alliance. Which doesnt sound like a faction?? nWo, of course. Which was the most over and memorable faction?? nWo. McMahons ego needs to go into hiding if he wants his checkbook to prosper.
If you hate columnists complaining and re-booking the invasion, I'm deeply sorry. Notice how I wrote the apology here, after you guys had to have read the column?? That's called marketing.
I'll be back to post a column on Tuesday or Wednesday night. I'm being transfered back to Canada on Thursday, and my grandmother's place has limited internet access, so I don't want to go on a no-column-posting spree. I'm hoping I can get everything straightend out by Saturday night, so I won't have to juggle any of my posting duties at The Oratory.
The real reason Steph got implants - Did anyone else get a look at Linda's chest on Smackdown!??
So that's it for the Raine. Send any comments, compliments, complaints, and sexual fantasies to email@example.com. I promise I will reply.
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